Granted, but you have the body of an ant.

I wish Star Wars: Battlefront III would actually be made.

Granted, but it's made 150 years after your death....at 113, waiting for the game.

I wish I had Battlefront 3, right now:D

Granted. But you don't have the system to play it on

I wish I loved in Red Formans house

Granted, but doing so counts as a break in.

I wish I could wallrun.

Granted, but now you can't walk.

I wish I could use the MATRIX!!

Granted. But your spine sockets are faulty and you get plugged into the disney channel instead

I wish I could get the assemble the religious and scientific leaders of the world and make them start a fight club.

mtfbwya

Granted, but the police raid the place and all the religous and scientific leaders blame it on you.

I wish I had a riot police shield.

Granted, but people think you're a police officer and start a riot all around you. Shields only cover one side. :(

I wish the next president were a lesbian and did the whole 'first family' thing with her wife and three kids, two adopted Chinese daughters (who are hot) and one stem-cell built test-tube baby (who is also hot).

Granted, but she gets assassinated by some bigot shortly after the inauguration.

I wish for the next Prime Minister of Canada or the next President of the United States, whichever comes first, to be an openly bisexual Atheist.

Granted. But he/she is also openly a monkey and throws poop at you.

I wish the ultra rich could be made to swim through manure to prove their worth as manure swimmers.

mtfbwya

Granted. But they make you swim through manure shortly after
I wish I was the original Numa Numa guy

Granted. But instead you become a large wild cat wearing sports gear and end up being the Puma Puma guy.

I wish I could pull a hat out of a rabbit

mtfbwya

Granted, but it's covered in rabbit blood, and that's impossible to get out.

I wish you were a monkey.

Granted .However, Mr Darwin was wrong, and I actually was created by a magical giant in the sky after all ;)

I wish Mr Darwin was a magical giant in the sky

mtfbwya

Granted, but he's not a god, he's just a magical giant.

I wish for a world without religious intolerance, or religious hindrance of progress.

Granted. But then you learn lesbian mud wrestling is a religion and you become a pious man

I wish for a world religiously and intolerantly hindering people as it progresses (in its orbit around the sun)

mtfbwya

Granted, but you could never make this post because the internet never existed due to religions hindering progress.

I wish for Earth to strongly resemble Coruscant.

Granted. Unfortunately, you have severe vertigo and cant leave the house, so it might as well be like Earth. Heck it probably was all along....!

I wish for subatomic particles to be sentient and go on strike when they dont feel like being part of matter.

mtfbwya

Granted, but that includes the ones you're made up of.

I wish to conquer the world using a religion that worships bacon.

Granted, but people find out you believe in neither religion nor bacon.

I wish people would leave religion and politics out of these topics!

Granted, but now it's much less interesting.

I wish for bacon mixed with fudge.

Granted, but it tastes so awe full it will never enter production.

I wish I could find the time to play WoW again. I have the opposite-addict syndrome. I don't have the time to play :xp:

Granted; you found the time, but you don't like WoW any more.

I wish for fudge mixed with turkey bacon.

Granted, but you eat it, and the chemical reaction forces your stomach to explode.

I wish I had tons of tons of BACON!

Granted, but it falls on top of you, crushing you to death.

I wish for a wish, which wish has no loophole whereby it may be ruined. :xp:

Granted. but that wish creates a paradox which then destroys the universe

I wish I had thousands upon thousands of Frito lays snack crackers

Granted, but you're buried in them, and die from lack of oxygen and over eating at the same time.

I wish for some "Fried Crap With Spicy Sauce."

Granted, but the "Fried Crap" is gnat poop.

I wish that I could take over the world.

Granted, but you don't feel like doing so.

I wish for three garbage cans that say TRUSH instead of TRASH.

Granted. But they actually say THRUSH and now your genitals are itchy

I wish for a world without cows, just breast milk

mtfbwya

Granted, but now women are being milked like cows.

I wish for an opportunity to say "Hey Daleks, exterminate this!", preferably when I have some sort of Dalek destroying gun in my hands.

Granted, but the gun malfunctions.

I wish I had an ultimate gaming computer.

Granted, but seeing as it's ultimate, another gamer hires a ninja to steal it from you.

I wish I had a computer that could play Crysis on Ultra graphics.

Granted, but you don't have Crysis.

I wish I had Crysis and a computer to play it on Ultra graphics.

Granted, but you forgot the wires to the computer and nothing works.

I wish I had Crysis and a computer to play it on ultra graphics and wires.:D

Granted, but your copy of Crysis is in Swahili.

I wish I was able to silence the voice in my head.

Granted, the voices stop once somebody whacked you over the head with a baseball bat, giving you a concussion...and a rather nasty hospital bill.

I wish I had a totally awesome TIME MACHINE!

You have. But you're not licensed to drive that Delorean yet, kid. So I'll take it back.

I wish I could have a Delorean like in t3h movies!

Granted, but there are no such movies as the T3H.

I wish I knew why Google set "the answer to life the universe and everything" equal to 42.

Granted. It's because that's what it is.

I wish I knew what the question was.

Granted, you knew, but then somebody decided not to ask.

I wish I knew the ultimate secret.

Granted, but then you tell everyone, and it's not the ultimate secret anymore.

I wish for an army of Cybermen at my command.

Granted, but you are charged with cyber warfare which is a crime in nearly all countries and the UN arrests you.

I wish I had an army of mercenaries loyal to the death that were legal.

Granted, but due to their loyalty going beyond pay, they're not really mercenaries.

I wish for Doctor Who to get a new logo and title sequence when Matt Smith takes over as The Doctor.

Granted, But it goes back to the Colin Baker era logo and theme, fans track you down and stab you mercilessly for even bringing the idea up.

I wish I had the night vision capabilities of pussycats, so I could sit around in the dark with my pussycats and play/purr with them

mtfbwya

Granted. You are one.

I wish for the Doctor Who logo used in this fanmade wallpaper (http://www.sdx-universe.co.uk/who23.jpg) to be the next official logo.

Granted, but for some reason, the fan who made it sues them for using it and puts them completely out of business.

I wish that the people in the SWBF series forums would stop spamming the place (with threats that a clan is going to take over dictatorship and online petitions).

Granted. They get what they want.

I wish I psychic paper.

Granted, but someone pronounces your wish as "Sidekick Paper."

Now you're writing a 50 page essay on sidekicking paper.

I wish I had a Samurai sword.

Granted, but it's one of the cheap $10 dollar ones that you buy in America that say "Damascus Steel" but are really only watered down steal and THE BACK OF THE BLADE ISN'T DAMASCUS-LOOKING AND YOU'LL NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM E-BAY AGAIN! These things happen...to people *sob* other than you.:swear:

I wish I had a kwan dao.