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[FIC]Star Wars: CSI Na Shadda

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 CSI
09-19-2006, 6:03 PM
#1
Hi, Fellas, this is my 1st fan fic. So, some clap is perfect. Thanks.

OK, back to business. This is NOT an epic or adventure fiction. This is indeed a DETECTIVE fiction. If you feel don't like it, please don't read along.

Eh...School is really dragging me back, so I'll try my best to write is as early as possible.

I want to thank to everybody, includes Pottsie, Jason Skywalker, stingerhs, and Master Jimmy.

Disclaimer: Includes, but not limited to, Star Wars, and its logo belongs to Lucas Arts Ltd. CSI and its logo belong to CBS Studios, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Atlantic Alliance. This fiction is not intended to be commercial use, just for fun.

This fiction is originated from CSI: Miami, Episode 109, "Kill Zone".

Special Thanks to Pottsie for offering this new song: "You Better You Bet".[Thanks to The Doctor for remind me for "Won't Be Fooled Again" is used in CSI: Miami.
 CSI
09-19-2006, 6:04 PM
#2
CSI: Na Shaddaa

During the peacetime of Galactic Republic, many planets showed peacefulness. But of course, during the darkness, many illegal events was occurring…

Due to the more and more criminal activities occurred recently, the Galactic Republic Senate agrees to set up a special Crime Investigation group, Crime Scene Investigation, short for CSI. Lead by Jedi Masters Nihilus and Revan, this small but elite investigator groups are dispatched into Na Shaddaa. Their destiny is unknown…


Prologue:


Night on Na Shaddaa is always beautiful. Stars, super nova’s, and busy traffic lights decorated the surface of Na Shaddaa. On the high ground, fences were built to separate the street and air. A lot of people were walking on the streets, some were talking about their business, some were drinking in the Na Shaddaa Cantina, and some were just leaning on the fence, enjoying the marvelous scenes. Not far from the street level, in a dark room, two smugglers were talking about their dirty plans. Suddenly, two yellowish blaster shots broke the window. The blasters penetrated through the smuggler’s hulls and sent them to be one with the Force. On the street level, some of the bystanders saw the two blasters penetrated the window and shouted: “Look, blasters! Get Down!” People panicked because the glass shards was raining down.

Not long, the CSI leader, Revan, appeared on the crime scene: he was wearing a Jedi Robe, frowning. In his front, another leader, and a Jedi Weapon Master, Nihilus, crouched down to examine the corpses. “Homicide,” after a brief examination, he stood up and gave an obvious answer.

“Another homicide?” Revan asked.

“Look, there is one shot on the left eye, on this corpse.” Revan pointed on the corpse on the left side.


“Yes, and that corpse has right eye impaired.”

“Boom, boom.” Revan pointed to his eyes, and continued, “Left eye, right eye, made a kill zone.”

"Why, clean, and deadly."

"Hi, guys. Just interviewed some people, and nobody saw the shooter. But they say they saw two blasters shot through the window." the detective, Atton Rand, came.

"Two shots? From nowhere? Sounds rediculous." Nihilus frowned.

But Revan just is emotionless.

"Now I will go to interview more people." Atton went away.

"Keep us posted," Revan called behind him.

“You bet.” Atton called back.

“Who can do this, in this such busy street, and in such far away?” Revan thought aloud.

“Maybe a sniper?” Nihilus asked.
 Alkonium
09-19-2006, 6:46 PM
#3
Umm, I doubt they would have Jedi as CSI's, let alone Revan and the Exile. But aside from that, it looks interesting. What song by The Who would you play at the opening?
 CSI
09-20-2006, 12:24 AM
#4
Umm, I doubt they would have Jedi as CSI's, let alone Revan and the Exile. But aside from that, it looks interesting. What song by The Who would you play at the opening?

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand you of "What song by The Who would you play at the openning?"
 Diego Varen
09-20-2006, 1:23 AM
#5
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand you of "What song by The Who would you play at the openning?"

You know, the band, The Who (They play on all CSI)? My second favourite band after The Beatles.

Going On-Topic, spelling error: Na Shadda - Nar Shaddaa. Also, I think you should give the Exile a name. People will get bored with Exile said, whatever. I'll keep my eye on this though. Oh yeah, thanks for mentioning me on your first Post, even though I didn't really do anything much. School does the same for me too.
 CSI
09-20-2006, 1:42 AM
#6
You know, the band, The Who (They play on all CSI)? My second favourite band after The Beatles.

Going On-Topic, spelling error: Na Shadda - Nar Shaddaa. Also, I think you should give the Exile a name. People will get bored with Exile said, whatever. I'll keep my eye on this though. Oh yeah, thanks for mentioning me on your first Post, even though I didn't really do anything much. School does the same for me too.

Thanks for your kind advice.

Now I changed the name into Nihilus. Is it ok? I just assumed he got redeemed. Ironic.
 Diego Varen
09-20-2006, 1:44 AM
#7
Nihilus? Interesting...
 CSI
09-20-2006, 3:07 AM
#8
[Off topic: @ Pottsie: That's okay, I accept your advice. Thank you for reading this anyway...]

Chapter 1

“Nobody saw the shots coming from any direction.” Detective Atton told Revan in yellow stripes marked “Crime Scene Do Not Cross”.

“OK, Shoes. Lost shoes indicates people are running, got any ID yet?” Revan thought deliberately, and noted there is a red shoes near the corpses.

“Yes, this Twi’Lek, named Darth Talon…” said Mical, who is taking photos.

“What, a Sith Lord? Holy—” Nihilus nearly exploded.

“There is no emotion…” Revan whispered.

“There is peace.” Nihilus sighed, “Sorry for my attitude. I’m a former Sith Lord, ya know.”

“Forgiven. Mical, what’s next?”

“Well, you don’t need to show like that. Really. Actually, he’s NOT a Sith Lord. He’s just a Bounty Hunter. But…”. Mical looked up and blinked at Nihilus.

“But why does they look like smugglers?” Nihilus already knew what he’s going to say.

“Bingo. And she looks young. About 20 years old.” Mical said.

Nihilus pretended to ignore him.

“Well, let’s back to the topic. What about the other vic?” Revan asked, with his trademark emotionless face.

“This is,” Atton took out his notepad and took a quick glance at it, “Ahem, this is Calo Nord, human male, approximately 40 years old.”

Another CSI, Bastila Shan, just finished processing “the fake Sith Lord”, Darth Talon, and shifting to Calo.

“Well, you mentioned that they were bounty hunters? They work together?” She asked when Atton finished.

“No. They have no direct connection so far. The only connection is they appeared at wrong place and wrong time.” Atton joked.

But no one seems to understand his joke.

“Never mind.” Atton gave up.

“Now we need some surveillance tape around here. Maybe they will give us some clue,” Nihilus told Atton.

“You got it.” Atton hurried to find them.

“Bastila, how many holes did you find on the body?” Revan asked.

“Four holds on the body. Two in, and two out. But for what weapon, I don’t know. You have to ask Nihilus. He’s the professional at weapons.” Bastila passed the ball to me.

Nihilus bent down, and studied the wounds carefully. “Strange,” Finally he stood up.

“What? What’s wrong?” Bastila asked.

“Interesting. This wounds only can be a Verpine Droid Disrupter. Although it’s not for life beings, but a well-placed headshot can terminate your life. Oh, and it has upgraded scope mark and chamber mark. Scope mark had ridiculously increased the range, and chamber mark had changed its energy beam more lethal. All I can say it’s modified and banned from many planets.” Nihilus said without thinking.

“All right. Good job, Nihilus and Mical.” Revan said, “And Brianna?”

Brianna, expert on anatomy, turned to Revan.

“Found anything?” Revan asked.

Brianna shook her head: “Not yet. Sorry.”

“OK. We need to find the bullets, so we can estimate the shooter.” Revan hinted.

“On it.” Brianna said.

“Oh, after that, we can bring everything back to the lab.” Revan said.

[Query: Stay Tuned for next chapter.]
[Nihilus: I know, I know! Can't you see I'm busy?]
[Statement: Emotion is...]
[Nihilus: Don't do that, HK! Don't! If you do, I'll...]
[Query: You're a tough master. I like you.]
 Jae Onasi
09-20-2006, 10:25 AM
#9
Mixing CSI and SW is rather fun.

A technical point--disruptors don't fire bullets, so there'd be no bullets to search for.
I had a little trouble getting caught by some of the grammar. Consider reading it out loud when you finish writing it. I read my chapters out loud to my son, and I catch a number of mistakes that I don't catch by reading alone. I don't know if it's because I have to slow down my reading speed or if hearing it instead of seeing it makes it process differently, but it works.
Atton's character is fun, too. He had some of the wittiest comments in the game, and it's always fun to see how other people write about him.

@john--no worries about the double posting. All you have to do is edit the first one. If you look below your sig you'll see a line that says 'you may: edit this, quote....'. Click the 'edit this' and you'll be able to add whatever you want to that post. Also, posting a comment in a separate post either before or after a chapter post is fine here--that's not considered double posting when you're writing a fic. That applies only in the fanfic sections, however. Thanks for trying to keep your thread tidy. :)

@everyone--if you see someone breaking Forum rules (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=169078) either accidentally or intentionally, please PM me, other moderators, or use the 'report post' feature--it's that little yellow dot below your avatar right next to the red/green dot that lets you know if someone's online here.
I know you all are trying to be helpful and keep people out of trouble, but the report post feature or a PM gives the moderators a heads up to check out the post right away instead of finding it when we normally read through the threads. Posting in a thread that 'this is spam' or 'this thread should be moved/locked/deleted' and such is actually spam itself. I'll be deleting those kinds of posts/comments from now on.
We also don't want to overwhelm new people with 80 zillion of us telling him or her 'This is spam!!' in a thread. It makes us look like we're rules vultures looking for someone to screw up, and we're not. If you PM us moderators or report the post, we can handle it quietly behind the scenes to keep the threads on topic. Let us moderators do our job, and you all concentrate on having fun writing stories and commenting on fics. Thank you!!
 Diego Varen
09-20-2006, 1:19 PM
#10
Good Chapter john. The Chapter has improved, but it still needs improving, like Jae said.
 RC-1162
09-20-2006, 2:42 PM
#11
the grammar hits me occasionally, and HK's Statement/Query stuff have gotten a bit mixed up, but the concept is good. unfortunately, i may not be able to read very often, but ill post my opinions when i do.
 CSI
09-20-2006, 3:55 PM
#12
[Off topic: Thanks for reading my novel and posting advises. I sure will improve them but after I finish. This is just 1st draft, I know some mistake is inevitable, but I just don't want my inspiration breaks up. I will improve the paragraph when I finish. Besides, I didn't put HK in the story, and I just want to tell you stay tuned.]

Chapter 2

“OK, ‘fake sith lord’, let’s see what you can tell us.” In the lab autopsy room, Brianna was holding a autopsy stick to estimate ballistic position. Then she inserted the stick into the hole on Darth Talon’s head, and reported aloud: “Angle is downward, into the glabellas (the part of the human forehead that lies just above the nose and between the eyebrows.), perforated the brain, then exited through the occipital bone.”

Nihilus is standing in the computer room in the autopsy room. He sighed and shook his head. A sniper is hard to encounter. Silent, and deadly. Not even his mask can block the blaster for him. “Nasty shooter,” he murmured.

Brianna turned Darth’s head so Nihilus can see the stick clearly. It penetrated through forehead and exited from the back of neck. Then Nihilus punched some bottons on the keyboard, the computer beeped once, and screen appeared a protractor, and automatically calculated the angle: “20.5 Degrees”.

“Hmm…20.5 Degrees.” Nihilus stand for a while, and asked Brianna deliberately, “What about other vic, Calo?”

“Calo Nord, 20.8 Degrees, downward.” Brianna’s voice passes through speakers on the wall.

“Hard to get that shot on the ground level, right?”

“Yes, unless the shooter’s ten feet tall.”

“Or they’re in the tenth-story window.” Revan said quietly in Nihilus’s back, made him almost jump.

“H***, Revan, you nearly scared my pants off!” Nihilus complained.

“Well, not funny at all, huh?” Revan chuckled.

Nihilus ignored him.

Brianna continued to observe: “The blaster penetrated the brain, shut down her Central Nervous System, and…”

“Immediately fatal.” Revan and Nihilus said together.

“Never felt a thing. Peaceful, next best thing is to going in your sleep.” Brianna rose her head, noticed Nihilus and Revan vanished. She frowned first, then smiled.

Back in his office, Revan massaged his head. The recent murder had made him feel bad. 3 people. And the sniper is still at large. Suddenly, his holocon receiver rang inappropriately.
 CSI
09-20-2006, 3:56 PM
#13
@john--no worries about the double posting. All you have to do is edit the first one. If you look below your sig you'll see a line that says 'you may: edit this, quote....'. Click the 'edit this' and you'll be able to add whatever you want to that post. Also, posting a comment in a separate post either before or after a chapter post is fine here--that's not considered double posting when you're writing a fic. That applies only in the fanfic sections, however. Thanks for trying to keep your thread tidy. :)

I read you, Admiral Onasi. (Sorry, too much KOTOR 2 to me). Sure, I will improve my story when I finish. However, thanks.

By the way, I'm not native English speaker, so if you don't mind, can you correct the grammar mistake for me? Thanks again.

That's sort of like me doing my kids' homework for them. :) I'm not going to point out the little things. I tend to look for the broader themes, either good or bad, to comment on.
The best way for you to learn is if you fix them--that's what I had to do when learning French, and if someone had corrected them for me, I wouldn't have learned from those mistakes. And to be honest, I don't have the time to fix the mistakes in fics (except my own)--I work and have a family to raise so my time is at a premium. Lastly, it's your fic--if I do it for you, it no longer reflects you entirely. Writing here will help your English studies in school and those studies will help here. Thanks, Jae

Good Chapter john. The Chapter has improved, but it still needs improving, like Jae said.

Thanks very much. Sure...After I finish.

the grammar hits me occasionally, and HK's Statement/Query stuff have gotten a bit mixed up, but the concept is good. unfortunately, i may not be able to read very often, but ill post my opinions when i do.

Don't read much is better than don't read at all. Thank you.
 CSI
09-22-2006, 12:59 AM
#14
Announcement: Expected Delay in CSI: Na Shaddaa due to techinical reason: Out of time because of overwhelming designing work, KOTOR 2 and school work. But I'll try my best to put on new chapter as soon as possible.

PS: Thanks RedHawke for modifying my post and watch my back.
 Diego Varen
09-22-2006, 1:48 AM
#15
I can understand. I can't write Fics as much anymore now, since I have school to consider. *Damn school*
 CSI
09-23-2006, 4:08 AM
#16
I can understand. I can't write Fics as much anymore now, since I have school to consider. *Damn school*

[Off topic: I agree with you. But I got a really good time in night, so I continued with Chapter 3.]

That's sort of like me doing my kids' homework for them. I'm not going to point out the little things. I tend to look for the broader themes, either good or bad, to comment on.
The best way for you to learn is if you fix them--that's what I had to do when learning French, and if someone had corrected them for me, I wouldn't have learned from those mistakes. And to be honest, I don't have the time to fix the mistakes in fics (except my own)--I work and have a family to raise so my time is at a premium. Lastly, it's your fic--if I do it for you, it no longer reflects you entirely. Writing here will help your English studies in school and those studies will help here. Thanks, Jae

[Off Topic again: Yeah...yeah...good advice...Never know you got a work and got a family to raise because I just thought you are like me, a college student. (No hard feeling, please.)]

Chapter 3

Back in the lab, Mical was looking at his self-illumination desk. The huge desk was full of photos of victims and their belongings.

He picked up a picture of Darth Talon, the young Twi’lek, and put it on an empty space. Then he put down a evidence bag with some credits inside and clearly labeled, “Darth Talon” aside her picture. He noticed a holocon is in the left side of Darth Talon’s picture. Beautiful girl, he thought, but died early. He felt sorry about her..

Mical rose, signed, and strengthened himself up. With a yawn, his “Gear Head” began to work more efficiently. Turning around, his sight swept through picture of victims in various angles. Then he retreated his eyesight back on the desk, and began to rearrange evidences into proper spots. Suddenly, the holocon rang. He looked at the holocon, as he saw something strange. After starring at it a little while, he shook his head, trying to drive away all mess thoughts, and began concentrating on his current work.

At the crime scene, Bastila was setting up simulation dummies for direction and position of that assassin. They sure look like real-life people, even Nihilus joked that if he were the sniper, he sure will use them as a perfect target. Atton was also helping Bastila setting up dummies—by inserting Laser Tracing Beam into the hole on the dummies’ heads. The stick strictly obey the real-life ballistic trajectory.

“Look like an one-horned Devaronian, isn’t it?” Atton joked.

“Well, look like a one-horned Chagrian.” Bastila didn’t buy his joke.

“Oh, yeah. You got sharp eyes. No wonder why you are a CSI and I am not,” Atton admitted.

Bastila only winked.

“All right, good. These lasers should get us up close where the shooter is,” Nihilus appeared from nowhere and observed, “You ready, Bastila?”

“As always.” Bastila replied.

Atton flashed his thumbs to indicate he was ready, too.

“Good. Let her rip.” Nihilus looked around, and raised his binoculars.

With two short beeps, Bastila and Atton turned on lasers.

Through his binocular, Bastila could locate the three dots shinning dots…near

the top of a far-away building. In the binocular, the distance is showed as 528.18m from current position to the building.

“577.62 yards,” handing binoculars to Nihilus, Bastila reported.

“That’s approximately same distance as Interdictor-class Cruiser,” Nihilus took the binocular, observed.

“What the hell is Interdictor-Class Cruiser?” Atton asked.

“Did you know Darth Malak?” Bastila asked.

“Oh, that baddie-baddie with a Prosthetic Jaw?” Atton remembered.

“His ship, Leviathan, is a Interdictor-Class Cruiser.” Bastila explained. She really didn’t want to explain it so she just briefed him.

“One shot, one kill,” Nihilus raised the binoculars again, and said deliberately, “This guy’s either military trained or a Sith assassin.”

“He’s in Mandalorian Army, probably. They have the best snipers out there.” Bastila said.

“So, that is his nest up there. Let’s go find out if he left us anything. You coming?”

“Then I suggest we move on.” Bastila used her “trade-mark” phrase.
Atton just shrugged.
 CSI
09-23-2006, 4:13 AM
#17
Umm, I doubt they would have Jedi as CSI's, let alone Revan and the Exile. But aside from that, it looks interesting. What song by The Who would you play at the opening?

Maybe "Who Are You?"?
 Diego Varen
09-23-2006, 4:16 AM
#18
Maybe "Who Are You?"?

Or maybe "Won't Get Fooled Again". Anyway another good Chapter and I'm still trying to get used to the Exile being called Nihilus. Maybe I should start called my KOTOR PC Malak?
 CSI
09-23-2006, 4:19 AM
#19
Or maybe "Won't Get Fooled Again". Anyway another good Chapter and I'm still trying to get used to the Exile being called Nihilus. Maybe I should start called my KOTOR PC Malak?

Thanks. Well, I'll read your chapter for sure if you write a novel "Dance, Dance, Malak!" [LOL, just for fun]. Oh, by the way, because I holds this belief: "Once a Jedi, Always a Jedi!" therefore I wonder what would happen if, and only if Darth Nihilus are redeemed?

However, "Won't Get Fooled Again" is a good idea. I'll accredit you.
 RC-1162
09-23-2006, 7:57 AM
#20
i just read your latest chapter and its fine. there still are the occasionnal grammar wacks, but the main thing was the Republic Commandos. they werent introduced until the beginning of the Clone Wars and that will not be for another 4000+ years from the time line of this fic. and the Nebula class star destryoer was used only in the New Republic and NJO era which is after the battle of yavin. you might want to correct these.
 CSI
09-23-2006, 12:46 PM
#21
i just read your latest chapter and its fine. there still are the occasionnal grammar wacks, but the main thing was the Republic Commandos. they werent introduced until the beginning of the Clone Wars and that will not be for another 4000+ years from the time line of this fic. and the Nebula class star destryoer was used only in the New Republic and NJO era which is after the battle of yavin. you might want to correct these.

Yeah...I will consider these...

A little research will do these...Thanks anyway
 CSI
09-25-2006, 8:53 PM
#22
Chapter 4

On the roof of the Convention Center, Nihilus took out his Holocron transmitter and pressed a button. With a small hum, Revan’s holocon appeared.

“Revan, we are on the top of Convention Center. According to our laser pointers, the sniper was nested here.” Nihilus reported.

“Good job, you guys. I will be there for a few minutes.” Revan said cheerfully.

“OK. A party is about to begin.” Nihilus hung up, and smiled to Bastila and Atton.

Atton said: “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Nihilus agreed: “OK, then. We have to be more careful.”

Just then, Revan’s speeder whooshed down from sky, and parked nearby.

“Well, I think you made a record. You made fifteen minutes earlier.” Atton joked.

Now it was Nihilus’s turn to smile.

“Good. Now, where are we?” Revan asked.

“The sniper taped that door shut. Clearly, he didn’t want the blaster shots echoing in the stairwell.” Bastila observed.

“Correction, disruptor. He would have had to disassemble the disruptor and hide it in something to get it up here.” Nihilus corrected.

“Excuse me, sir, why don’t he just use a speeder and land it on that platform?” Atton scratched his head, and pointed to the platform on the rooftop where Revan landed his speeder on.

“I think the sniper didn’t want to get too much attention,” Revan pointed out, “So he chose the old-fashioned way: climbs on stairs.”

“Yeah, and according to the blue print of this building, the only roof access is that stairwell. The turbolifts don’t have roof access.” Atton got his point, nodded.

Walking on the rooftop, Bastila said to Revan: “As a routine maintenance mechanic to get up the Convention Center is not a difficult thing to do for a sniper, especially a military trained.”

“Then he got up here, wheeled his guns and his ammo onto this rooftop and killed 2 mercenaries.” Revan didn’t miss a beat.

“Well, this sure can recall that Coruscant Tower.” Nihilus said.

Everybody went silent; they could not forget that sniper had gunned down 14 people on the observation deck in the Tower of Coruscant. It’s not very tall, as to the skyscrapers in the Coruscant, but it’s a good spot to gun down people because people are clearly visible on the ground.

“Well, this sniper moved to the high ground as well, didn’t he?” Revan asked.

“Yeah.” Atton took a peek.

“All right, if I was a sniper, what’s the first thing I would do?” Revan asked knowingly.

“You’d pick your spot. Prone position is best for shooting.” Nihilus didn’t even blink once.

“Right, but the problem is, this wall obscures my view of the target.” Revan said. (He pretended to be numb. He liked this.)

“Yeah, maybe he’s kneeling?” Bastila thought aloud.

“Or maybe I went higher. Take a look at this.” Nihilus was standing on the top of air-conditioner control room, which is a lot higher than the wall, and enough space to let a sniper to prone on.

“So what do you get when a six-foot-tall man lays down with a three-foot-long disruptor?” Revan asked “prematurely”.

“Revan, Verpine Droid Distuptor is not that long. It depends on how people modify it. Usually, about 1 to 2 feet.” Crouched down at the top of air-conditioner room, Nihilus corrected Revan.

“Thanks.” Revan turned away too see the people walking below.

“Hot flashes, but that’s just me.” Nihilus thought for a while, and said.

Suddenly, Bastila pointed at a dark spot on the edge of rooftop. “What’s that?” She announced. That dark spot like the rock is burned.

“GSR cone.” Nihilus took a careful look and answered Bastila’s question, “Normally, blasters doesn’t have laser residue, but for disruptors, this is a different case. When a laser is fired, due to its chemical reaction within the gun, extremely hot temperature and extremely high electric pressure can burn off a rock,” He pointed at that dark spot, continued, “like this.”

“I take it you guys found the sniper’s location?” Atton appeared on our back.

“Yes, you are right.” Nihilus turned to face Atton, smiled—again. Then he came back to his “class” to his peers, “This is rough location and pose for the sniper, I think.” Then he lied prone and took out his lightsaber as simulation of sniper, “roughly like this.”

“Cool pose, Nihilus.” Bastila observed.

“Thanks.” Nihilus got up, thanked her.

Revan noticed one thing and used forceps to pick up a small thread: “I have got burlap with gravel glued on.” Everybody moved closer to take a careful look at it.

“Better than camouflage—you know what it is?” Bastila observed.

“That’s from a homemade urban camouflage suit.” Nihilus said.

“Why don’t he use the old-fashioned thing, the stealth field generator?” Atton took out another question.

“Good question.” Revan frowned, “But that generators are banned from the planet of Na Shaddaa, therefore no military is using it.”

“Which means, our man doesn’t know how to use stealth field generator? Ridiculous.” Atton signed.

Through the Force, everybody could see a sniper is lying prone on the rooftop, wearing camouflage suit, and preparing to gun down innocence.

“Take a look at this.” Atton noticed some powder on the roof. “This is not a gun powder.” He picked up some, noticed their color—golden-yellow.

“Sand.” Bastila smiled. A nice chance to beat Nihilus out there.

“Sand, on a roof?” Revan asked them.

“Yeah, it’s from a sand sock.” Nihilus observed. Ignoring the invisible challenge from Bastila, he continued, “Yeah. You hold it in your hand or you put it on the ground, right underneath the muzzle, and one squeeze is enough to raise the barrel right to the sweet spot on the target. So, during the inevitable squeezing, the sand will come out from a hole that is big enough to let it flow.”

Revan shook his head, “This guy is scary.”

Nihilus didn’t reply. He fell down into pit of thoughts.


Seriously, I think this is the longest chapter here. Stay tuned for Chapter 5. Thanks.
 Diego Varen
09-26-2006, 1:24 AM
#23
On the roof of the Convention Center, Nihilus took out his holocon transmitter and pressed a button. With small hum, Revan’s holocon appeared.

First Spelling. Holocron and with a small hum. Still good though. God I think I'm becoming Hall.
 CSI
09-26-2006, 10:51 AM
#24
First Spelling. Holocron and with a small hum. Still good though. God I think I'm becoming Hall.

Thanks for spelling correction. I'll change that ASAP.
 CSI
09-30-2006, 8:20 PM
#25
Chapter 5

When Mical entered the room with full of victim photos and evidences, he found his friend, a CSI tech specialist, Bao-Dur, is making a transmit.

“Look, Lumiya, it’s not my case, okay? If you want Dad to stay home or call in sick from work, you should call him yourself. You know he’s not going to listen, okay? I got to go.” After a brief pause, he continued, “I have to go, I’ll call you later, okay? Bye.”

Mical looked up and asked kindly: “What’s up? You talking to your sister?”

“Yeah, our dad works in the dock and she worries about everything.”
Mical nodded in understanding.

“So what’s going on with the sniper case?” Bao-Dur showed concern.

“Well, Nihilus, Revan and Bastila found his nest and I’m on victimology.”

“Find any connection?”

“Nothing obvious.”

“That’s good time to look for the un-obvious.” Then he scoffed.

“I’m aware of that.” Mical replied, “Revan says that to me all the time.”
Bao-Dur chuckled and made a twirl beside his head: “You know, it’s great minds…”

“You are unbelievable.” Mical joked.

“I am. See ya later.” Bao-Dur patted his buddy’s back.

Out of the office, Bao-Dur saw Bastila walking and reading her case file. With some brief greeting, they set off.

In the lab, Revan is using forceps to pick up some unknown chemical when Bastila pushed open the door and announced: “The adhesive residue on the rooftop door was electrical tape.”

“And we got through the night without another shooting.” Revan gave her some comfort.

“My mom wants me to come home to Dantooine, but I told her even the Hutts couldn’t make me.”

“Mm, people are starting to get nervous, which is the way he wants it.” Revan moved away and let Bastila took a look into the microscope, “Take a look at this and tell me what you think it is.”

“Some type of vegetation.” Bastila adjusted the focus.

“We found three of them on the roof, in terms of the camouflage suit, we were right. Made the entire thing out of this,” Revan picked up the fibers found on the roof again, “the burlap we found up here. Must’ve taken him weeks.”

“Snipers are patient.” Nihilus pushed open the door and walked in. With the mask on his face, nobody can see his expression. But judging from his voice, they know this time he’s serious. He continued: “They can lay in wait for days waiting for the target(s). If conditions aren’t right, they won’t take the shot.”

“You know a lot about snipers. You were a sniper before?” Bastila asked what Revan is going to ask.

“I have a friend, he was in the TSF, Special Op, and with 38 kills one day. He created a record which haven’t been broken yet. He’s now retired, but he’s opening a shoot range about 1 hour away.” Nihilus looked into sky, trying to recall his friend’s info.
 The Doctor
09-30-2006, 10:58 PM
#26
Just so you know, 'Won't Get Fooled Again' is already used as the theme for CSI: Miami. 'Who Are You' is for the original, and 'Teenage Wasteland' is for New York.
 CSI
09-30-2006, 11:52 PM
#27
I never watched CSI: NY before, what's it talking about? But I have both CSI and CSI: Miami all seasons on DVD. I just finished CSI Season Five, and I'm currently enjoying CSI: Miami Season 1. I love them. That's how I got inspired.
 Diego Varen
10-01-2006, 7:21 AM
#28
Good Chapter, which I've been waiting for. If Doc is right about Won't Get Fooled Again being used before, then perhaps You Better You Bet.
 CSI
10-02-2006, 7:48 PM
#29
Chapter 6

Soon, the land speeder whooped down and parked down the parking lot of the shoot range. Some civilians were doing target practices. Some of them are in sitting position, some are in prone position, and others are in crouch position. Their purpose is just one: to hit the jackpot.

Nihilus fired one laser beam through his disruptor. Through his scope, he can clearly see his beam burn on the target: “Fire in the Hole.”

“Remember what do we used to say?” The sniper, Jax, a Gran, smiled.

“Jackpot.” Nihilus smiled, too.

“It’s been a while when I fired one of those,” Revan looked at his disruptor, said.

They all knew Jedi considers blasters “Uncivilized”, but due to politeness, Revan changed his attitude on disruptors toward Jax.

“You know where to find a gun,” Jax raised his head, “but sniping is different. Comes to shooting, you can’t trust just your eyes.” Nihilus fired another laser beam.

Jax closed his big eyes and heard Revan said, “Just like a crime scene.”

Re-opening his third eye, he said, “Most snipers tended to take a deep, controlled breath before the 1/500 seconds before firing the disruptor to decides if the condition is perfect to take a life."

“You put your victim at the end of the barrel of your weapon, and you became god,” Revan shrugged, “you have all the power.”

Jax replied, “You stay in control. A sniper only make the shot if the conditions are perfect.”

Waved goodbye to Jax, Nihilus and Revan drove back to their lab.

Revan told Nihilus to look into the microscope again. “You’re looking at a Black Pine,” Holding a Trace Lab report, he said emotionless.

Sometimes not only Nihilus, the whole lab envied how Revan controlled his emotion.

“Now, it’s not indigenous to Na Shaddaa, but it is commonly used to grow Bonsai trees.”

“Our sniper has a hobby,” Nihilus observed.

“And patience—it takes 20 to 30 years to grow a Bonsai tree.” Revan continued, “I also found urine.”

“Probably up there all night waiting to take his shots.”

“Mm.”

With a loud crash, the door was rammed open by Bastila. She stormed in and screamed: “It happened again!”

Didn't give us a slight chance to cover our ears, she turned on the information holocron, with a short beep, the holocron showed the panorama of the whole scene, and the beautiful journalist is holding the transmitter, using the Basic, reporting:

“Nar Shaddaa Security Force just arrived on the scene. Now, witnesses tell us one person has been shot. There may be others, we just don’t know yet. What we do know is that the sniper has once again struck in Downtown Na Shaddaa.”

"Curse..." Nihilus couldn't control his anger, and his hand formed a "Force Choke" movement, "if I found that piece..."

"There is no emotion..." Revan's whisper entered Nihilus's auditory receptor.

With a deep sigh, Nihilus fell down on a chair.
 Diego Varen
10-03-2006, 1:26 AM
#30
I thought I told you Na Shaddaa was spelt Nar Shaddaa. Anyway another good Chapter. I liked the reference to AOTC with the blasters being “Uncivilized". I'm looking foward to more.
 Dark_Lady
10-03-2006, 1:32 AM
#31
I like this story a lot. You obviously watch a lot of CSI.
 CSI
10-03-2006, 10:43 AM
#32
I thought I told you Na Shaddaa was spelt Nar Shaddaa. Anyway another good Chapter. I liked the reference to AOTC with the blasters being “Uncivilized". I'm looking foward to more.

Thanks for the remind me of mistakes.

ha. I just used Obi-Wan Kenobi's phrase.

I like this story a lot. You obviously watch a lot of CSI.

Yeah you're right. I love CSI series. Can't wait for CSI: Season 6 DVD to come out!
 CSI
10-07-2006, 1:05 AM
#33
Chapter 6

It was a sunny, happy afternoon, but CSIs are not happy about it.

“Second day, second shooting.” Bao-Dur observed when they arrived the crime scene. It was located near the Nar Shaddaa Catina, which a lot of food carts were located there.

“Could be unrelated, could be a copycat.” Mical replied.

“It’s the same part of the town.” Revan said grimly.

“Yeah, but the first shooting happened in the morning.” Mical recalled.

“The MO* is different,” Mical said.

“Is it? The only time busier than early morning is evening rush hour when people are trying to get home.” Revan said.

“Or get a quick bite to eat.” Bao-Dur observed.

Mical bowed down and studied the fourth victim closely. He was shot between the eyes. He leaned peacefully on a fast food cart, with eyes closing. If there were no holes on his forehead and no blood flowing from that hole, everybody would say that he’s sleeping, don’t disturb.

“Myra Oen.,” Atton greeted them and looked at the victim, he didn’t even bother to greet them, “about 39, a Chiss. He’s a Sith, a real Sith.” Atton didn’t do a good job to cover his surprise.

Revan, Bao-Dur and Mical looked around to confirm that Nihilus is not around.

“If that’s true, then why didn’t he use his lightsaber?” Bao-Dur used a pen to flip a corner of victim’s robe to reveal a lightsaber.

“That’s normal because a disruptor fire cannot be blocked or reflected by a lightsaber. Before I come here, Nihilus told me.” Revan said deliberately.

“But even with the Force, he still cannot see it coming?” Mical asked Revan.

“I don’t think he’s that sensitive to Force like us,” Revan thought aloud.

“He currently had no family, and like before, nobody heard any shots.” Atton’s voice broke Revan’s thoughts.

Nodding, Revan turned away while Atton was still saying, “He just wanted to buy a hot dog and bam! Dead. Director is ready to have a stroke. He planned to call in Reps.”

What he mean “Rep” was Republic Investigator Committee, which was under directly control of Senate. (Off topic: You can think it as Fed on Earth.)
Bao-Dur shook his head. This would mean a very, very big, bad business they will face.

“Two shootings, two days, four victims—this guy’s on a spree.” Revan observed calmly.

“Can we place him on a building?” Atton asked, “but I’d prefer ‘nail’ instead.”

“Not with just one shot, but Nihilus can approximate distance.” Mical put in helpfully.

“So the only evidence we have are wounds we can’t use and strips of a homemade camouflage suit.” Atton frowned.

“Let’s not forget the sand and the Bonsai needles.” Revan reminded Atton, “The further the evidence takes us away from the crime scene, the greater the chance he’ll let down his guard.” Revan looked up a tall building. The building’s glasses reflected the sun’s bright rays. He then continued with emphasize, “And that’s when we’ll get him.”

*MO, Short for modus operandi, is for repeating criminal behaviors. They have especially same characteristics.
 Diego Varen
10-07-2006, 5:11 AM
#34
Another good Chapter. I'm happy your Computer is okay now. Or is it? Anyway looking foward to the next Chapter.
 CSI
10-07-2006, 9:02 PM
#35
Hopefully, Yes...Finally my computer is recovered...Your concern is noted and appreciated.
 CSI
10-10-2006, 12:16 AM
#36
Chapter 7

In the lab, Revan called Mical: “Mical, anything that catches our eyes?”

Mical reported: “So, the Cantina betted three-to-one odd that he’s going to shoot again Monday morning. Ten-to-one odds that he’s going to shoot in a different location.”

Revan didn’t smile: “Okay, but he’s shooting people in downtown for a reason.” Revan said.

“Well, you know, Bao-Dur’s dad works in Dock, but his sister doesn’t want him to go to work because the shoot point is very close to his working place.” Mical said briefly and asked Revan, “What do you think the odds are, realistically, that we’re going to find this guy before somebody else gets killed?”

“I don’t know. But if this guy gets us to change the way we do our jobs, then those odds are going to go up. So let’s not do that, okay?” Revan looked away for a while.

“All right.” Mical was walking away.

“Hang in there.”

“Four dead in the so-called Nar Shaddaa Sniper four shootings, so far, have been linked to the sniper. A car backfired earlier today, causing panic in downtown Nar Shaddaa. Worried parents are keeping their children home from school…” One broadcaster said in the TV.

“The shootings were caused by a disruptor that no authorities can track the bullets…” Another broadcaster said.

“Some people say that they can’t trust…” Broadcaster number 1 said.

“So far, all victims have been shot during rush hour.” Broadcaster Number 2 added.

In the morgue of CSI Laboratories, Brianna pushed in another cart of Myra Oen laying on it. They all looked peaceful, but Brianna knew their soul is shouting because their murder was still at large.

----

Revan used a pipettor to absorb a unknown chemical in a small vial, and injected it into another small vial with another chemical. He shook it and used another pipettor to transfer it into a even smaller vial. After capping the vial, he opened the chemical detector lid, pushed the vial into one of the empty slots, tapped a few keys, and the detector began a small humming which indicates it’s working.

----

In the ballistic lab, Nihilus took Verpine Droid Disruptor from his home—he had a really good collection of weapons. He casted it on the table and took different chambers. He was testing which chamber the sniper used to track the sniper. Not far from him, there is a target zone which has a big block of jell-O. “Don’t eat it, it’s not good for your health,” Bao-Dur once joked.

He loaded up the disruptor, put on ear buds, “Test fire Chamber Number One!” He shouted before he fired. With a suppressed gunfire sound, he fired one laser beam toward the target zone.

Unloading all his gears, he took a notepad to record all data. The computer displayed “2807 Miles/Hour” in his LED display. He turned to take a look at the beam mark. Because the jell-o is made of non-combustible, non-penetratible material, so it was good for recording how long the laser was shot. Taking a ruler, he measured the burn mark in the Jell-O: 5 Inches.

----

Bastila was watching the video from the two victims. He stared into the dual-screen computer, and recorded something in his notepad.

“So far, it’s confirmed that Carlo was walking in the stairs before 10 minutes all hell broke loose.” Bastila walked in and reported to Revan who was busying looking into the microscope.

“Good, good.” He moved away and told Bastila, “Confirm this for me.” He pointed to the microscope, “The sand on the right is…?”

Bastila moved in and looked into the microscope: there were 2 piles of sand, on the right side is a little greenish. “Is…a mixture of calcifying green algae and brown cheese—looking grains…” Bastila said.

“Likely from erosion?” Revan frowned.

“Beach sand.” Bastila answered positively.

“Sand on the left?” Revan asked.

“Found traces of this on the roof, in the sniper’s nest.”

“Gastropods—snails—all fooball-shaped grains of benthic foraminifer.”

“Mmm, but not homologous. I’m thinking from a quarry.”

“I’m thinking you’re right.”

----

Walking in the lab, Nihilus told Revan: “Based on the penetration test, I used a gelatin block to reconstruct the human tissue, the shooter was 975 yards away.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Give or take a yard or two.”

“650 yards for the first shot, 975 for the second.”

“He was showing off.”

“Maybe he’s making a sport of it.”

----

In the Trace Lab, Revan announced: “The sand in the shooter’s sand sock is coral.”

“So he practices shooting in a coral quarry.”

“Right. Which would give him the distance he needs. Now these are three locations are all abandoned.” He pinpointed three locations on the Nar Shaddaa map, “Gives him the isolation he wants.”

“So you want to look at all three?”

“Don’t need to. Take a look.” Revan handed Nihilus a piece of paper.

“Jet fuel.”

“Jet fuel and coral. Now watch this.” Revan pinpointed only one coral quarry near the spaceport of Nar Shaddaa, “There you go. Like giving us directions.”
 Diego Varen
10-10-2006, 1:19 AM
#37
Another good Chapter CSI. I'm looking foward to more. One question, is your Computer alright now?
 CSI
10-10-2006, 10:59 AM
#38
Oh, yeah. My computer is ok before Chapter 6 was released.
 CSI
10-11-2006, 4:55 PM
#39
Chapter 8

In a coral mine near Nar Shaddaa Spaceport, the engine roars of nearby transits indicated they were landing and departing. A shadowy figure and a figure with a iron mask appeared on the sands. They were Nihilus and Revan. They bent down and looking like digging something.

Revan tuck his hand into the sand and picked up a handful of sand, examined them and smeared a little, then threw them away. He stood up and looked at Nihilus, who is walking toward him.

“Natural sound cover.” Revan said loudly, attempting to cover the deafening roar of transit engines.

“The perfect place to keep your rifle on.” Nihilus replied.

“So if I was him, where would I shoot from?” Revan asked Nihilus while he looked around. Nihilus also looked around to find the perfect spot as if the sniper was him.

Revan raised the binoculars, then he heard Nihilus’s deep, hoarse sound, “Well, he needs distance.”

“Because he’s a long-range shooter, right?” Revan saw an abandoned entrance of a well, “Look, he crouched down, and followed all protocol of assembling a sniper rifle-or he already did so before he got in. In that entrance and through the scope, he was practicing shooting people. Pulling the trigger, one life is a part of the Force…”

“OK, ok, I got the picture.” Nihilus said.

Without lowering his binoculars, Revan continued to observe: “Nothing moves here.” He began to sweep through the field. He noticed a small flag, which is for detecting wind direction and wind speed. He passed the binoculars to Nihilus: “Take a look at this.”

Nihilus put on the binoculars: “That flag is a little strange…Why somebody put on the flag on such an abandoned place?”

“Perhaps for a mark of target, maybe? If he’s shooting from there, where does the laser beam ended up?” Revan said amusedly.

Approaching the flag, Revan saw a burn mark near the flag. Clearly a Disruptor fire. Nihilus is processing the flag to find the fingerprints. He took out a small brush and dipped it in the Lead Powder and dusted on the flag. Soon, a clear fingerprint appeared under the lead powder’s effect. Taking out a fingerprint tape, he carefully collected the fingerprint onto the tape.

Finally, he signaled Revan a thumb up.

Revan smiled. He only smiles when he saw one murder is nailed.

----

Back to the lab, Bastila was working on the fingerprint recovered by Nihilus. The computer was humming which indicated it’s working perfectly.

With a small “beep” sound, the screen showed “Match Found.” After read the short bio, Bastila read to Revan: “Canderous Ordo, 40, ex-Telols Security Force Special Ops.”
 Diego Varen
10-12-2006, 1:21 AM
#40
Very very short Chapter. Good all the same and I'm looking foward to more.
 CSI
10-12-2006, 1:40 AM
#41
Very very short Chapter. Good all the same and I'm looking foward to more.

Maybe next time I'll write a longer chapter. I hope the fic will close in next two chapters--Chapter 8, Chapter 9, and Epilogue.
 Diego Varen
10-12-2006, 1:44 AM
#42
Maybe next time I'll let you to post a longer chapter. I hope the fic will close in next two chapters--Chapter 8, Chapter 9, and Epilogue.

That's sad to hear. Perhaps you could do a CSI Coruscant or something like that or a completely new project. Also, if you want, I could beta-read it, before you post it in the Archives.
 CSI
10-12-2006, 2:44 AM
#43
That's sad to hear. Perhaps you could do a CSI Coruscant or something like that or a completely new project. Also, if you want, I could beta-read it, before you post it in the Archives.

Oh, Pott, Thank you very much!

No, this story ends...But CSI: Nar Shaddaa will stay in the line. my opinion is, Nihilus left Nar Shaddaa and went to Coruscant. And I will create a new team: CSI: Coruscant, along with CSI: Nar Shaddaa.

You know, CSI: Nar Shaddaa and CSI: Coruscant will not be over so soon! There are too many unsolved cases for us to solve.
 Dark_Lady
10-12-2006, 4:03 AM
#44
It's ending already? Noooo... Actually, I think this is a good length, especially if you're going to be doing a series. I like it a lot and can't wait to see the next chapter. :clap2:
 CSI
10-12-2006, 12:03 PM
#45
No. Actually, you are right, CSI: Nar Shaddaa is a series, not ust one story. Wooo...Hooo...Let's finish the story, shall we?
 CSI
10-12-2006, 1:53 PM
#46
[Off topic: This is not finished. I'll try my best to finish this chapter today when I have time.]

[Off topic: To pott: This chapter is longer, right? And it's not finished yet...]

Chapter 9

Near Canderous’s home in Nar Shaddaa, Nihilus and Revan’s speeder whooshed down from sky. Along with them, there are also several Nar Shaddaa Security Force’s speeders. With siren on, they landed near the house.

Nihilus walked onto the door and knocked: “Nar Shaddaa Security Force! Open the door!”

No replies.

Nihilus dodged aside, and signaled Revan to Force Push the door open. Revan took a deep breath, and used double hand to perform a “Force Push”. With a loud bam, the door was pushed away from doorframe and hit on the wall behind him.

Nihilus already ignited his lightsaber, a silver saber appeared. His the one first rushed in. He wanted to use Force Sight, but for just making sure this house was clear, he was searching the room everywhere.

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

At last, the whole house was clear—he is not home.

Revan looked at the awards on the top of stove in the living room, then took a look to the left right side. He was a little surprised for his collection of guns: Disruptor rifles, shotguns, carbines, and even blasters. He knew that Nihilus always had an very good collection of weapons, but he never got a chance to take a look at them.

Nihilus is documenting everything into the camera.

“His world and welcome to it,” Revan observed, “Everything is in perfect order.”

“He’s trying to control his environment the way he wants to control us.” Nihilus replied.

Revan didn’t answer. Instead he saw something interesting—it’s a shelf.
Opening the drawer, Nihilus and Revan found a lot of notecards. Revan said: “Firearm data cards.”

“There must be 20,000. Even I don’t have that information.” Opening another drawer, he continued, “He’s recorded every shot he’s ever taken.”

Revan nodded slightly, “Or planning to.”

“This one was dated this morning.” Revan handed Nihilus a card.

Nihilus took a brief look: It was a sniper’s data card. It indicated a lot of information a sniper needed, like range, rifle scope number, light, mirage, etc…
Turning the card around, Nihilus noticed a lot of powders: “That could be residue.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“He’s been on another roof top since taking out his latest victim. This could tell us where he’s been.”

“Or where he’s right now.”

----

Back in the lab, Revan studied closely to the data card when Mical came in.
“Let’s find out what this residue is made of.” He took out a dull knife and sampled some of these residue on the back, then he used forceps to pick it up and put it in a small vial then handed to Mical: “Three hours till downtown becomes one big living target.” Then he paused, “Keep me posted.”

Mical busied to process the evidence.

“The substance on the back of the data card was a hardcore adhesive called RT600 after Hurricane Hutta(A famous hurricane that occurred in Nar Shaddaa).” Mical later reported.

“To prevent rooftops from going airborne in case of another hurricane.” Revan said deliberately.

“Now I’ve narrowed it down to three buildings.”

“We’ve got to get it down to one. Okay…here is what we need to do.” Revan walked in where Nihilus is working, “We’ve got to outhunt the hunter.”

Nihilus looked at Revan: “Where do we start?”

“Where he did.” the sniper went to rooftop with his case. Then he hide behind a air-conditioning room, and changed into the homemade camouflage suit, and then assembled the sniper disruptor. He climbed even higher, and went into position.

“Climbed into higher, getting into position, and he waited for the perfect conditions.” Nihilus said.

“Then his targets were irrelevant because the victim he picked is random.” Revan frowned, “Meaning he picked spots, but not people.”

“Once he picked a spot, he stayed up all night—didn’t eat, didn’t move—not for any reason.”

“Wait for as long as it took.”

“Just like as a skier observes the sky and ground before race begins,”

“Yeah, like a puzzle, but he’s to be complete.”

“Not matting how long as he waited, as those pieces fell together, he’d be ready.”

“To take three shots,” Revan finished.

The sniper was in position. He waited for a whole night for this perfect chance. Soon, he found the target, in a room, Darth Talon and Carlo Nord, smiled, and pulled trigger. With two silenced laser beams, the victims are goners.

“And the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.” Revan finally said.

----

“OK, Mical, what have you got?” Revan stormed into where Mical worked.
On the computer screen, Mical told Revan: “Of the three buildings that used RT600, after Hurricane Hutta, only one has not been re-roofed narrowing it down to this one.”

Computer beeped once when Mical pressed a button, and it showed the satellite photo of the area.

“Now, these are satellite photos, taken by us, from the past 72 hours. He hasn’t been there.” Mical said.

“OK, but this guy is a chameleon. He could blend into a side of beef. Why this building?” Revan asked.

“These are lines of sight from the building to surrounding areas.” Mical zoomed in the photo and turned it into a 3D simulations.

“Let’s turn it 180 degrees, please.” Revan said.

Mical pressed some buttons and it turned about 180 degrees.

“All industrials. Okay, now shift 90 Degrees west.”

Mical pressed some buttons it turned about 90 degrees west.

“Targets everywhere.”

“OK, now there is a high-traffic area in the upper left quadrant.”

“Highlight that, please.”

Mical moved the mouse and clicked a few buttons. A zone with high traffic appeared, with a small beep, the computer screen turned from the highlighted zone toward the top of the building.

“Now let’s check the line of sight.” Mical said.

“That’s his kind of spot. Lots of people walking into it.” Revan watched the computer illustrates the imaginary laser beam to the target zone.

“Yeah, but that’s got to be over 800 yards away.” Mical looked at Revan doubtfully.

“Get Bao-Dur on the speeder, Mical.” Revan turned away.
 Diego Varen
10-12-2006, 2:19 PM
#47
[Off topic: To pott: This chapter is longer, right? And it's not finished yet...]

It looks finished. Another good Chapter CSI. Well done.
 CSI
10-12-2006, 5:25 PM
#48
It looks finished. Another good Chapter CSI. Well done.

No, it's not. If it's finished, then Chapter 10 will be really short and besides, what I'm going to write next also appears in CSI lab, same place in Chapter 9, therefore I'll combine them.
 CSI
10-13-2006, 3:12 PM
#49
Chapter 10

“Air Seven, Air Seven,” Pilot shouted through the intercom, “Approaching location.”

On the ground, a lot of people were standing, sitting and waking, chatting excitedly. Some of them looked at the speeder as if it was going to have a crash landing on their head.

Bao-Dur reported through intercom: “OK, Revan, I’m in position.”

“Copy that, Bao-Dur.” Revan said.

With siren blaring, Revan, Bastila and other CSIs drove their speeders and whooshed down on the ground.

Not even letting the speeders came to a full stop, Revan jumped out and nearly shorted out the circuit in his intercom: “Nihilus! Nihilus, where are you?”

“I’m with Special Ops, heading upstairs.” The intercom had transmitted Nihilus’s voice honestly.

“OK, you will be my eyes and ears!” The voice from Nihilus’s intercom is so loud that Nihilus had to lift it from his ear a few inches.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a sniper in the vicinity. I need everyone to leave the area now!” Revan shouted.

Aftar a while, Revan talked to a Nar Shaddaa Security Force Officer, “Officer, listen, I need a 360 quarter-mile perimeter clear!”

“You got it.”

“Bao-Dur, speak to me.” Revan shouted into the intercom, and turned to a woman gentlely: “Madam, you can’t be here.” After hearing this, the bystanders ran for their lives.

On the top of the building, Canderous Ordo, the sniper, was fully equipped and prepared to fire at will. Through his scope, he can clearly see Revan’s head clearly.

“Revan, you’re right in the line of fire!” Bao-Dur shouted back.

“OK, listen up!” Revan’s voice was not quieter than Bao-Dur’s, “This guy is one shot, one kill! If he can’t make it, he’s not going to take it.”

“Special Ops has him in sight!” Nihilus’s voice passed through the intercom.

“I need to know if this is all-clear! I need confirmation, Nihilus.” Revan shouted back.

Now…Ordo’s scope is right on Revan’s forehead, and he prepared to pull the trigger once the conditions were perfect.

Suddenly, a Special Ops soldier appeared on the back of Ordo.

“Release your weapon! Turn it over!” Soldiers shouted and touched Ordo’s back.

Ordo was surprised. He never thought that he can be caught. Amazed, he had to raise his both hands. Once he’s turned over, a lot of heavy blasters aimed at him.

“Code Four, Code Four,” Nihilus reported, “Sniper has been apprehended. I repeat, the sniper has been APPREHENTED! We have him in custody.”

Revan suddenly felt his intercom is heavy. He let out a long sigh, nodded, and smiled…again. Then he signaled to Bao-Dur a thumb up and hand on throat, signaling “Mission accomplished.”

After a few moments, Revan appeared on the ground level of the sniper’s building.

Smiling on his face, he saw Nihilus holding the camouflage suit, was walking out of the gate.

“Nice work. Have you considered a transfer to Special Ops?” Revan asked happily.

“I don’t look good in laser-proof vest,” Nihilus replied. Although Revan can’t see his face, he know he’s smiling, too.

“I beg to differ.”

Behind Nihilus, Canderous Ordo, the sniper, was cuffed by two Special Ops soldiers. Revan looked at him and Ordo opened his mouth.

“Do you want to know why?”

“You just killed four innocent people.” Revan replied calmly, “You’re evil. You enjoy death. I hope you enjoy your own. Take him.”
 Diego Varen
10-13-2006, 3:30 PM
#50
Another good Chapter that is quite short, but it is still good. So how much more now, before CSI Coruscant begins?
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