how about you type it out in word and use the spell check things there and then you can copy paste it here. me do same thing with me fics. that reminds me. Mace Windu is done, can you pls review it in your next bunch? thx

how about you type it out in word and use the spell check things there and then you can copy paste it here.

That's what we all do. Except one time, I typed a paragraph on this site.

^^^^
meh, spellcheck is for wimps. if you don't know how to spell it, look it up. then after you finish writing, proofread. trust me: it turns out much better that way.

Who proofreads there work? I don't!! :rofl: Really, I don't.

hehe, well, another advantage of proofreading is catching bits and pieces of your writing that don't entirely make a lot of sense. not only is proofreading better than spellcheck, it also gives you a chance to edit your work and make it better. this is especially true if you take a break for an hour or so and come back to the same part you just wrote. a new perspective can sometimes prove to be a valuable addition to an already great work. ;)

I was slightly kidding. I do read over my work once (maybe twice if I'm feeling like reading) and it does help.

If you actually read my segment Acceptance, you will notice that I rewrote the scene in the mess hall because the way I worded it originally, I suggested that she had to become a master of the force itself, rather than what I had meant, which is that some problems are easier to fix by paying attention to it, and dealing with it on a more mundane level.

I still haven't figured out hyperlinking. The word processor in my computer refuses to accept that there is such a thing and sulks when I try to install it. My week was rather rushed with MLK day and my wife's tirade after getting her teeth fixed.
I promise, I'll try to do better.

Apprentice of Me
ExiledFish
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158232)

A wounded Jedi returns to Telos. Set in KOTORII

Like a lot of you younger writers, EF is thinking and trying to write at the same speed. It doesn’t work, people. The human mind is like the turbine of a jet or a modern automobile engine. To get it to run something like a ship or a car, you have to use what are called reduction gears, taking the several thousand revolutions of the engine and reducing it to something the wheels can take.
Edit the work, re-write it, and especially check the spelling. Don’t try to write it as you see it, write it more carefully.
It was short, and the idea seemed good. Keep it up.

Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic: The Mandalorian Wars
Potsie
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158310)

Set before KOTOR; as Revan tries to gain Jedi support, Admiral Saul Karath fights on.

Potsie, you haven’t given me enough to really get into this story. But the idea is good. You tend to jump around a bit, but not as bad as some I’ve seen. Slow down a bit, expand the segments and have clean breaks between them. Keep it up.

Mace Windu: Jedi Master Reborn
RC1162
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=154601)

Set after Mace Windu fell

A good view of the scramble that would have occurred after order 66 was passed. The pacing is good, and every bad thing I can think about had already been said before I got to chapter 4. I wish I had time to got through it and read it all, RC, but I have a ‘stone knives and bearskin’ landline.

From the Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater


Jedi Insurrection
Darth_Badman
http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=6055)

Set 450 years before the formation of the Empire; what happens when politics controls the Jedi?

The story is well written, and is intriguing. The only question and complain I have is this;
Does our friend Darth Badman know what a Paragraph is?

Thoughts of One, Clone War Short Story
Obi-Wan
http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=6552)

The thoughts of a Dark Jedi before a mission
Obi-wan has been reviewed by me before, and his style has not changed. The story is clean and crisp, and deserves to be completed.

Star Wars: Vader's Disciple
Darth_Badman
http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=6693)
Three years before a New Hope; The thoughts of Vader’s apprentice

Everything I said above about this kid still stands. Once he learns what a spell-checker and paragraph are for he’ll go far.

From Kotorfanmedia


What Dreams May Come
wook
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=624)
Set in KOTOR; Revelations during the final battle may change Revan forever.

I had never seen the concept that Revan and Malak were siblings before. Just as I made them people who almost became lovers, wook made them brother and sister. An excellent concept, and excellent read.

RAMPAGE
Ghostie
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=638)

Set in KOTOR: A slight over reaction by a droid.
Everyone knows of the characters that merely pass through the story, mentioned, briefly interacted with, and then gone. Ghostie took one minor character, the droid from the tombs, and made a short story about it that is well worth reading.

Broken Images I
siempre
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=663)

Set after KOTOR I. A series of broken images put together in a story form.
Only two small vignettes, but such promise! Write more! Now!

Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic: The Mandalorian Wars
Potsie
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158310)

Set before KOTOR; as Revan tries to gain Jedi support, Admiral Saul Karath fights on.

Potsie, you haven’t given me enough to really get into this story. But the idea is good. You tend to jump around a bit, but not as bad as some I’ve seen. Slow down a bit, expand the segments and have clean breaks between them. Keep it up.

Thanks for your comments machievelli (I admit I need to improve in explanation). I will mainly explain the events of the Mandalorian Wars in my main Fanfic, Jorran Corral - The Chronicles Of A Jedi. I am planning one more Chapter where this Fanfic will end. This I suppose this is my lead up into a better story.

Mach, im not in a hurry, if you want, you can delete that bit and take your time to read my fic properly then make one. im ok with it. good work anyway.

I like the idea of a critic, but through a feedback system. If someone pasted on the homepage a critique about my mods, I would be very pissed.

Quote from one of machievelli's reviews:

A wounded Jedi returns to Telos. Set in KOTORII
Like a lot of you younger writers, EF is thinking and trying to write at the same speed. It doesn’t work, people. The human mind is like the turbine of a jet or a modern automobile engine. To get it to run something like a ship or a car, you have to use what are called reduction gears, taking the several thousand revolutions of the engine and reducing it to something the wheels can take.
Edit the work, re-write it, and especially check the spelling. Don’t try to write it as you see it, write it more carefully.
It was short, and the idea seemed good. Keep it up.

You encouraged him/her, and then you let everyone know his flaws... Now, I am a professional designer, and critiques are part of my everyday life. However, when I am doing something for fun, I get really ticked off if someone took the steam out of my buzz..

Another note:
I would only place a few critics up on the homepage at a time, for they are taking up too much space. LucasForums.com provides multiple levels of entertainment, and the critics are sometimes overwhelming.

Overall, I like your idea, but keep in mind that these people are just having fun. Give them professional feedback in their own threads. Let other people give feedback as well.

When it comes to the home page. Try to keep in mind that other news is just as important.

Keep up the work.... :)

meh, spellcheck is for wimps.
I guess I am a wimp then.

Mac, I am doing as I was asked.
When I was younger, I had people who read my stuff but weren't willing to complain about it because 'hey, I'm your friend, and and I don't want to hurt your feelings'. When I briefly taught a class on creative writing, I constantly ran into minor problems (The one you quoted is a common one) and found it's best to tell them. It might hurt their feelings a little, but I am also trying to teach them lessons I learned a long time ago. I noticed his problem because I did the same thing until I learned better.

A critic is supposed to be 'critical', hence the name. However I defy you to find one criticism that was a knife in the guts like most critics who actually get paid for it.

Mac, I am doing as I was asked.
When I was younger, I had people who read my stuff but weren't willing to complain about it because 'hey, I'm your friend, and and I don't want to hurt your feelings'. When I briefly taught a class on creative writing, I constantly ran into minor problems (The one you quoted is a common one) and found it's best to tell them. It might hurt their feelings a little, but I am also trying to teach them lessons I learned a long time ago. I noticed his problem because I did the same thing until I learned better.

A critic is supposed to be 'critical', hence the name. However I defy you to find one criticism that was a knife in the guts like most critics who actually get paid for it.
Truthfuly, I didn't want to respond to anything for today. However, I thought you desirved an answer...

For the past few days, I have been stressing out on small anoyances. Disregard my original post...

Mac, if I had a week, I could post every nasty reply I sent just in the last year because I was tired. No biggie

Mac, if I had a week, I could post every nasty reply I sent just in the last year because I was tired. No biggie
Suggestion Only!
When I look on StarWarsKnights.com, I noticed you keep chaning the tittle. When the mods are reported, they use the same tittle: 'Weekly Mod Reports'.

Did you ever think of using a title that is consistant each time you report?

For example:

'Fan-Fiction Report: Critique!'
'The Fan-Fiction Critic!"

Suggestion Only!
When I look on StarWarsKnights.com, I noticed you keep chaning the tittle. When the mods are reported, they use the same tittle: 'Weekly Mod Reports'.

Did you ever think of using a title that is consistant each time you report?

For example:

'Fan-Fiction Report: Critique!'
'The Fan-Fiction Critic!"

Pfft. That's no fun. I personally like how he mixes it up :D Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside :D I just hope that he gets around to reading mine :¬: :lol: J/king I know your busy. Keep up the reviews Mach :D

I like it when titles change. I'm all for a little variety.

btw, Machievelli asked me to let you know that the reviews would be a little late this week as he has some problems with his computer.

he should scrap it and buy the latest gizmos, man. :D
good work anyway. though i think youll like my fic better if you go through it fully, wont take much time.

Suggestion Only!
When I look on StarWarsKnights.com, I noticed you keep chaning the tittle. When the mods are reported, they use the same tittle: 'Weekly Mod Reports'.

Did you ever think of using a title that is consistant each time you report?

For example:

'Fan-Fiction Report: Critique!'
'The Fan-Fiction Critic!"

Yes I did actually. But I was in a seriously playful mood when I started. After all, someone thought I was good enough to be a critic! Besides, they have six movies and about sixty book so far, so I was getting into the swing of things.

Don't worry, I was thinking of settling down anyway.

he should scrap it and buy the latest gizmos, man. :D
good work anyway. though i think youll like my fic better if you go through it fully, wont take much time.


I can't afford the 'latest gizmos'. What happened is my flipping dog (Which my wife bought after the car was stolen) chewed through the only 50' phone cord we had so I was unable to even get online from here. Then, while able to contact Darth, I was unable to access the site because or parental controls on some of the advertising. We finally found a replacement so I am again back terrorizing the populace raping all the men and killing all the women (Wait a minute...)

As for reading the entire thing...
I try to spend less than eight hours putting together a review. Not because I don't like doing it but because I spend only five hours a day (None on the weekend except on rare cases) writing. That means out of 25 hours I already devote a third to this.
To read your work all the way through I would need a full copy sent to my listed e-mail so that I can read it at my leisure. Anyone who feels that I have not given thier work enough time can send it to me in this manner.
The reviews for this week will not be done. Instead I will do a review and publish it friday. Darth has suggested that instead of me figuring out what the (Bleep) is going wrong I will send it to her on wedensday, and she can post it if I cannot figure it out.

You guys keep writing...

"what the (bleep) is going on"

:lol: :rofl: LMAO!!!

and i was kidding about the latest gizmos, man. no one cares as long as you give us your great reviews.

I'll just be happy when someone finally comments on mine, even just to say keep going LOL

Well later today, after my feeble attempts to try and hyperlink the story titles, I will e-mail the review this week to Darth. But I will try to do it myself first.
I have noticed that three people out of 27 say go to hell. That's one in nine so far. With almost 1500 hits on the column so far, that means a lot of you haven't bothered to vote. Either you like what I'm doing or you can't be bothered.
Dylan, I will get to yours eventually. Promise.

^^
screw them, they dont know your skill. just dont bother, mach, youve got lotsa fans here :D.

Looking forward to your next reviews, Machievelli. Can't wait until you review mine:D

To RC, thanks, son, but I am not going to increase your allowance.

I was waiting to vote till after I got my review, but if doc says you're good to go, then I'm sure mine will be favorable

To RC, thanks, son, but I am not going to increase your allowance

:lol:
LMAO!!!!
no problem Mach :D

All right, let's see if it works...

Lucas forums Coruscant Entertainment Centre

Before I Leave you... (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158738)
Darth Longie

Interlude between KOTOR and KOTOR II. Revan remembers a past teacher

Dl said he hasn’t posted a fanfic before and I knew it when I read what was written.
My question kid, is WHY NOT? The writing style is hesitant, but great. The characters are clearly defined, well covered, and my only other complaint is that you didn’t write more.


Darth Nihilus (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158836)

Prometheus X-303


Set in KOTOR II A darklord contemplates his past.

The only problem I see is that Prometheus keeps jumping from first person present to third person present, and sometimes from either one past, sometimes in the same sentence. Take a deep breath, slow down, remember which tense is proper and are you an internal or external observer. Good work regardless.



The Story Of Timmy Marong (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158988)
pokejedi 123

Set after KOTOR II

A cop On Alderaan has a busy day.

The concept is good kid. You’re doing good work, it just needs work to make it great.
You need to have a paragraph break between speakers, and edit and proofread your work. Also your grammar needs work as does your tenses. It’s ran, not runned.
As I have told others, your problem is that you’re mind is running faster than your fingers can keep up. What I would suggest is typing it in a word processor program then run the spell-checker and if it has it a grammar checker too. Then go back and look at what you’re writing. Compare it to other works by published authors.
If it passes all that criteria, post it. Because I want to see more.

From the Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater


This Has GOT To Be One Of THE Wierdest Pairs Ever (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=6856)
Ooda&Clato

A Jedi Odd Couple deals with problems

While there are problems with editing and style that can be addressed by merely having the author proofread next time, I was struck primarily because this is the first work I have seen where the Jedi are not homonid. One is a Toydarian, the other a Hutt. If you had put Skywalker and Kenobi in their places the scene would read just as clean, and that is the most important point.
He complains that another piece was deleted. A pity, I would have wanted to read it.

Jacen's Return (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=7211)
)
Arentuin

Jacen Solo deals with his feelings after the Yuuzhan Vong war.

The style and writing is outstanding. The author delves into the angst of a returning survivor of what a modern American would call torture, and does it well.

In All My Glory (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=7398)
sidious618

The thoughts of the average clone trooper

This is much better than his previous work. The battle is clearly defined from the point of view of the clone, and his decision making is clear and concise. Very well done.


From Kotorfanmedia

Foretelling of a Wet Wedding (http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=623)
charys

Set a year after KOTOR A reunion with a few extra twists...

Charys starts you off thinking it’s just a simple assassination. Before you know it your dragged along as the entire crew gets behind Carth’s attempt give Revan not only a bracelet, but some quality time together. Ambushing the reporters was a nice touch.

Every Hour On the Hour (] http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=678)
Jiara

Set in KOTOR. HK’s daily routine with some amusing twists.

65 readers on this site gave it a thumbs up, 41 thought it was worth commenting on, and after reading it I can understand why. HK is himself, and the exchanges between him and the other members of the crew were hilarious. But not half as funny as his own internal dialogue. His equating snoring (Observation: Human male Jedi is producing a rasping, grating nasal emission similar to that of the human female Jedi.) with Force powers caused me to snicker. It wasn’t the first either.
If I didn’t have to worry about him slaughtering anything and everything, I would love to have him around just for the entertainment value alone.

A Discussion (http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=690)
Eirtae

A dueling challenge response set three years after the end of KOTOR.

There is a feeling of letting go as the two characters (Revan and Dustil) talk about allowing their animosity to flow away. The piece is short, but very well done.

yaay!! hyperlinks!! :D

great job, mach, it looks much better now. KIU.

I am still not going to raise your allowance

What's with the Hatorade Mach?? No review for me, and no allowance raise? How wude!

I though you onlt reviewed completed works? I know at least one of those is obviously incomplete. Am I wrong?

Anyway, nice work, Mach! Looking forward to next reviews!

Me too. four words: Star wars Temptation Rising. LOL ;)

Thanks for the review :) I am working on part 2 now, which I hope will be a fair bit longer. It might be another couple of weeks before its ready though!

I though you onlt reviewed completed works? I know at least one of those is obviously incomplete. Am I wrong?

Anyway, nice work, Mach! Looking forward to next reviews!

Doc, if I only reviewed completed works, I would have little to review. My own acceptance is only about twenty pages longer than what has been posted.

What's with the Hatorade Mach?? No review for me, and no allowance raise? How wude!

Did I miss one? If so I am sorry. If not, then no dessert for you tonight youngster.

LOL. Damn, it's getting rough in here!!! LOL Jerry jerry

Yeah, you still haven't reviewed Return of the Exile :( You hurt my feelers :(

I only have four words for you Machievelli. "The Crystal of life"

Yeah, you still haven't reviewed Return of the Exile :( You hurt my feelers :(
You're right. I should have reviewed it about three weeks ago. I am terribly sorry.

Return of the Exile (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=154792)
Jedi Knight 707

The Exile prepares to face the same danger that has killed so many.

I am Sorry JK, I honestly thought I had reviewed your work. Better late than never...

The work flows smoothly after a bumpy start, and keeps the reader interested. There are a few spelling and editing errors, but on the whole is excellent. I wish I had the time to read it all the way through.

The Geonosian War (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158555)
steven

Set in the future a century after The Attack of the Clones: The descendant of a Geonosian engineer strikes at the new Republic.

The basic idea at first had me confused. However once I got into the story it began to flow a little better. The battle scenes are a little stilted, and he doesn’t know enough about the ships in combat, but that is easily corrected.
Like a lot of the kids here, Steven is trying to write in a screenplay style, jumping from place to place. A newbie’s mistake, and one that time will correct. Beyond that spelling and grammar are the only real problems.

The Destiny of all existence (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=159280)
)
Vladimir-Vlada

Three men with amnesia try to understand their plights.

VV is excellent in his portrayals, and only needs editing and some translation to be excellent in the story as well. As someone to whom English is a second language, he does better that I think I would do with a translation program, so I can‘t really complain. At least he tries to write in English. I can’t even curse in Magyar.

Chronicles of the Forgotten Jedi (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=159770)
JediMaster12

set seven years after the destruction of the Star Forge
Too short to really call. The story so far is good.


Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater

Resurrection- Jango Fett (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=7432)
Zane Marit

A clone begins having flashbacks of Jango Fett’s memories. Based on a suggestion by another author (Kent)

Like all of Zane’s work the idea is well defined and well presented. It fleshes out some of the Original Jango Fett’s personality because you get a chance to see it from inside his head.

The Hunter (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=7569)
Obi Wan

Two and a half years after the Battle Of Geonosis. A Hunt with only one end

Obi Wan only wrote a vignette but it is well worth reading. Except for some minor grammar and spelling mistakes, it is outstanding.

Star Wars: Battle of Galidran a furry clone story (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?showtopic=7751)
Marcus Starkiller

A Clone war story with all of the Jedi as animals...

A unique method of carrying the story forward. Except for count Dooku all of the jedi are assorted animals. The idea is reminiscent of Alan Dean Fosters’s ‘Spellsinger’ series. The battle is laid out in a straightforward manner and keeps the reader’s interest.


Kotorfanmedia

Like Wolves (http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=679)
Phoq

Set six years after KOTOR: The exile tracks down Revan to gain revenge.

Back in January I reviewed Phoq’s Wounds of the Past. At that time I commented on a stilted style, and that it would improve.
I am happy to see that I was correct. Like Wolves flows gently like butter, smooth and delightful. 17 readers on the site gave it a thumbs up.
Add mine.

The Second Jedi Order: The Beginning (http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=676)
Darth Exile

Set in the interim between Kotor and Kotor II. Revan departs to find an evil even darker than the Star Forge.

The writing is excellent, the pacing smooth and crisp. The ending leaves you wanting more.

Object of Oppression (http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=734)
Home One
Set at start of KOTOR
Another view of the initial battle of Taris.

The battle is good, but the writing is stilted. The scene ends as they leave the ship, but because of that, and glossing over the battle scene, there is little to judge the work by. Since it is also the only part published, I can only say I would need to see more.

For some reason the entire first paragraph is now a hyperlink, and the second review is not. As my signature says
Stercus, Stercus, Stercus, *




Edit: Hehe no need to say bad words in Latin...Errare humanum est
- fixed! there was a ] missing ;) - Darth333

Still waiting for my review of "The Crystal of life." It's been like a month since you told me you would review it. But aside from that, great job on the reviews! We all appreciate your work Machievelli.

Thanks for the review on Chronicles but I had to delete it because of issues of completion. I wouldn't have gotten around to it and I lost the original script. You can read my others Heart of the Guardian or the Tale Lost Tales of Revan.

Thanks for the review, machievelli. That's just the beginning, and I have the entire plot developed in my head. All I have to do is find the time to finish it.

RB, I have already written the review (I read the story right after we talked) but it hasn't been officially reviewed because every time someone comments on a story, or it is added to, it pops back up to the top of the queue and I am working from the bottom.
If you'd like to see it I can PM it to you.

Darth, the advantage of being an omnivorous reader is that I can cuss in almost 20 languages. The odds that any modern American knowing Latin is small enough that I took the chance. Of course, you're Canadian.

Still waiting on mine too, patiently tapping his foot ;)

Dylan, if you don't mind having me read it and send you a review as I'll post it before I do, I can read it this week.
If you want a repair manual for the story if it needs it, I can send that too. Take your choice.